If you’ve ever felt completely drained after a social event or found yourself rehearsing conversations in your head, you’re not alone.

Many neurodivergent individuals engage in masking— masking can help people navigate certain environments, but it comes at a cost.

The good news? There are research-backed strategies to help manage the pressure to mask and move toward a more authentic life.

In this post, we’ll explore what masking is, why it happens, and how small steps can foster self-acceptance and well-being.

What is Masking?

Masking is a psychological and behavioral adaptation where neurodivergent individuals consciously or unconsciously suppress or modify their natural behaviors to conform to societal expectations.

It is most commonly associated with autism and ADHD but can be present in other neurodivergent conditions as well.

A study published in 2020 on neurodivergence defines masking as the act of camouflaging neurodivergent traits to fit into social environments, often at great personal cost.

Masking behaviors include suppressing stimming behaviors, mimicking neurotypical social interactions, and forcing eye contact despite discomfort.

Examples of Masking

1. Social Mimicry: Imitating the speech patterns, facial expressions, or gestures of neurotypical individuals to appear more socially adept.
2. Forcing Eye Contact: Many neurodivergent individuals are taught that eye contact is a sign of engagement, leading them to force themselves into uncomfortable behavior to meet social expectations.
3. Suppressing Stimming: Stimming, such as hand-flapping or rocking, is a natural self-regulation technique. Many neurodivergent individuals suppress these actions in public to avoid unwanted attention.
4. Scripted Conversations: Preparing and memorizing social scripts to navigate interactions rather than responding naturally.
5. Masking Sensory Overload: Enduring bright lights, loud sounds, or overwhelming environments without expressing distress, despite significant discomfort.

Masking can sometimes serve as a tool for social survival, allowing individuals to navigate spaces that may not be accommodating.

However, research shows that prolonged masking can contribute to burnout, increased anxiety, and a loss of personal identity (Lai et al., 2017).

Understanding the depth of masking and its consequences can help individuals make informed decisions about when and where they feel comfortable unmasking.

Why Do People Mask?

Masking is not simply a choice—it is often a learned response to societal pressures and expectations.

Many neurodivergent individuals begin masking at a young age as a way to fit in, avoid bullying, or meet the demands of school, work, and social settings.

Social Acceptance and Safety

For many, masking is a survival strategy. From an early age, neurodivergent individuals receive subtle or direct messages that their natural behaviors—such as stimming, avoiding eye contact, or needing extra time to process information—are “wrong” or “inappropriate.”

To avoid negative attention, they learn to mimic neurotypical behaviors.

While this can lead to social acceptance, it often comes at the expense of emotional well-being.

Studies show that frequent masking is linked to increased stress and mental fatigue, as individuals work tirelessly to adjust their communication styles, facial expressions, and mannerisms to conform to societal norms.

Workplace and Educational Expectations

Schools and workplaces often prioritize efficiency, social cohesion, and adaptability, making these environments particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals.

Many feel pressure to mask in order to keep up with the fast pace of education or professional life.

For example, an autistic employee might suppress their natural tendency to avoid small talk or take sensory breaks, fearing it will be perceived as unprofessional.

Similarly, an ADHD student might force themselves to sit still for long periods, even though movement helps them concentrate.

 Over time, this forced adaptation can take a serious toll on mental health.

A 2019 study on neurodivergent adults found that autistic adults who mask at work experience higher rates of burnout and lower job satisfaction.

This underscores the need for more inclusive spaces that accommodate neurodivergent needs rather than expecting individuals to conform.

Cultural and Gender Expectations

Masking is particularly prevalent among neurodivergent women and individuals from marginalized backgrounds.

Research suggests that neurodivergent women and nonbinary individuals are more likely to mask their traits due to societal expectations around communication and behavior.

Women, for example, are often expected to be socially adept, emotionally expressive, and accommodating.

As a result, many neurodivergent women develop strong masking techniques, such as mimicking social scripts or forcing eye contact.

Because of this, many neurodivergent women receive a diagnosis much later in life, if at all.

Cultural expectations also play a role, as some societies place a high emphasis on conformity and social harmony, making it even more difficult for neurodivergent individuals to express their true selves.

Avoiding Negative Consequences

There are real consequences to not masking. Neurodivergent individuals who do not conform to social expectations may face bullying, discrimination, or exclusion.

Masking, then, becomes a defense mechanism in environments that do not accommodate neurodivergent needs.

For example, a child struggling with sensory overload in a loud classroom might suppress their discomfort to avoid being labeled as “difficult.”

A professional with difficulty making eye contact may force themselves to do so in interviews to avoid being seen as untrustworthy.

Over time, the cumulative stress of these adaptations can lead to burnout and mental health struggles.

The Emotional and Physical Toll of Masking

Masking takes a profound toll on mental and physical health. While it may serve as a short-term coping mechanism, the sustained effort to suppress one's natural responses results in significant emotional and physical strain.

Chronic Stress and Burnout

Masking requires continuous mental effort, leading to chronic stress and burnout. Studies show that individuals who frequently mask experience heightened anxiety, depression, and exhaustion.

A 2021 study in Autism found that prolonged masking is linked to higher levels of distress, but recognizing and addressing these patterns can significantly improve quality of life.

Burnout can manifest as extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and even physical symptoms like headaches and digestive issues.

Neurodivergent individuals who mask frequently may also experience emotional numbness, a reduced ability to enjoy activities, and an overall sense of detachment from their authentic selves.

Additionally, many of these symptoms are thought to be trauma responses, particularly hypervigilance—a state of being constantly on high alert for social cues or potential negative reactions.

Some researchers and advocates argue that, over time, chronic masking can contribute to complex trauma, especially in school or work environments where neurodivergent individuals are pressured to suppress their natural behaviors.

This continuous self-monitoring and fear of social rejection can lead to long-term emotional distress, reinforcing patterns of anxiety, avoidance, and self-doubt that resemble post-traumatic stress reactions.

Emotional Exhaustion and Anxiety

The emotional toll of masking extends beyond burnout. The pressure to constantly self-monitor can lead to chronic anxiety, as neurodivergent individuals fear being judged or misunderstood.

This heightened stress may contribute to complex trauma responses such as panic attacks, social withdrawal, and an overwhelming sense of being ‘on edge’ in environments that demand constant adaptation.

Additionally, masking can result in internalized shame. Many individuals begin to doubt their self-worth, feeling as though their true selves are unacceptable.

Over time, this erosion of self-esteem can contribute to depression and other mental health struggles.

Physical Health Consequences

Research has shown that prolonged masking can contribute to physical health issues, including increased blood pressure, sleep disturbances, and weakened immune function.

Chronic stress activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which, when sustained over long periods, can take a significant toll on overall health.

Many neurodivergent individuals report experiencing muscle tension, migraines, and digestive issues as a result of prolonged stress.

Additionally, suppressing self-regulating behaviors—such as stimming—can make it more difficult to manage emotions.

Stimming, which includes repetitive movements or sounds, is a natural way for many neurodivergent people to process emotions and self-soothe.

When masking prevents these regulatory behaviors, feelings of distress and discomfort can intensify.

The Power of Unmasking: Small Steps Toward Authenticity

Recognizing When and Where You Mask

Self-awareness is the first step toward unmasking. Keeping a journal or reflecting on moments when you feel most drained can help identify where and when you are masking the most.

Research from Cognitive Therapy and Research suggests that recognizing these patterns allows individuals to make more intentional choices about when and how to mask in ways that best support their well-being.

Finding Safe Spaces

Creating a safe environment where you can be yourself makes a significant difference. According to a study in Disability & Society, neurodivergent individuals who engage with affirming communities report higher self-acceptance and emotional resilience.

Whether it’s a support group, a close-knit friend circle, or an online community, surrounding yourself with people who embrace your authenticity can help ease the pressure to mask.

Adjusting your physical environment—such as modifying lighting, reducing noise exposure, or creating a sensory-friendly workspace—can also reduce the need for masking and enhance overall comfort.

Embracing Your Neurodivergence

Masking is something many neurodivergent individuals do to navigate a world that doesn’t always accommodate differences.

But you deserve to exist as your true self, free from constant self-monitoring and exhaustion.

The journey to authenticity isn’t about “fixing” yourself—it’s about recognizing your value as you are.

By taking small steps, seeking affirming spaces, and practicing self-compassion, you can create a life where you feel safe, accepted, and empowered to be yourself.

Action Steps to Support Unmasking and Authenticity

• Recognize Your Masking Patterns: Keep a journal or reflect on situations where you feel drained or performative.
• Find Safe Spaces: Seek out environments where you can be yourself, whether in supportive friendships, online communities, or therapy.
• Set Boundaries: Practice saying no to situations that require excessive masking and prioritize your well-being.
• Incorporate Self-Regulation Strategies: Allow yourself to stim, take sensory breaks, or use accommodations that support your needs.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Challenge internalized shame and remind yourself that your neurodivergence is valid and valuable.
• Advocate for Inclusivity: If possible, push for workplace and educational changes that foster acceptance rather than conformity.

You are not alone, and your experiences are valid. Unmasking, even in small ways, is a powerful act of self-care and self-love.

Remember, progress isn’t about speed - it’s about making choices that bring you closer to a life where you can thrive as your authentic self.

You are worthy of that journey.

Reference List

1. Cage, Eilidh, et al. "Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental Health in Autistic Adults." Autism, vol. 23, no. 3, 2019, pp. 824-836.
2. Hull, Laura, et al. "Development and Validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q)." Autism, vol. 21, no. 6, 2017, pp. 690-702.
3. Lai, Meng-Chuan, et al. "Quantifying and Exploring Camouflaging in Men and Women with Autism." Autism, vol. 21, no. 6, 2017, pp. 690-702.
4. Miller, Jessika, et al. "‘Masking Is Life’: Experiences of Masking in Autistic and Non-Autistic Adults." Disability & Society, vol. 36, no. 4, 2021, pp. 491-513.
5. Phelan, Laura, et al. "Masking in the Workplace: The Emotional Toll on Neurodivergent Employees." Cognitive Therapy and Research, vol. 45, no. 2, 2021, pp. 312-328.
6. Pearson, Amy, and Kieran Rose. "A Conceptual Analysis of Autistic Masking: Understanding the Narrative of Stigma and the Illusion of Choice." Autism in Adulthood, vol. 2, no. 2, 2020, pp. 134-146.
7. Schuck, Rachel K., et al. "Neurodivergent Burnout: The Impact of Camouflaging on Mental Health Outcomes." Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, vol. 50, no. 6, 2020, pp. 1653-1667.